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Question:

this is n’t really a wedding topic perhaps but my less than favourite sister-in-law called me last night and laughingly told me that she found the cheque that was part of the wedding gift we gave her 5 years ago tucked in a box.  this is the first time she has ever called me and I have the impression that she would like me to replace the cheque.  Perhaps this is not her intention but it would be in keeping with her character if it was.  My personal feelings about the woman aside–what is the right thing to do. Thanks in advance, Kathy B.

Response:

>My personal feelings about the woman aside–what is the right thing >to do.

Balance you checkbook at least once every five years so you wil know if a check cleared or not! Bryan

Response:

>this is n’t really a wedding topic perhaps but my less than favourite >sister-in-law called me last night and laughingly told me that she found >the cheque that was part of the wedding gift we gave her 5 years ago >tucked in a box.  this is the first time she has ever called me and I have >the impression that she would like me to replace the cheque.  Perhaps this >is not her intention but it would be in keeping with her character if it >was.  My personal feelings about the woman aside–what is the right thing >to do. >Thanks in advance, >Kathy B.

Well, if the check truly never did go through, at some point you absorbed that money back into your "available funds".   Also, if she had ‘misplaced’ a china service, a blender, or whatever, she could pull it out and use it now – only checks go stale after 6 months, unless it was edible, other gifts don’t.    You wouldn’t be in a position to even think about reconsidering giving her the gift – which really is what the question is here.   Replace the check with a smile.  If the check was very large, and you just wrote a ton of checks, tell her you’ll replace it in X days. Ann Replace the check with a smile. Ann

Response:

>this is n’t really a wedding topic perhaps but my less than favourite >sister-in-law called me last night and laughingly told me that she found >the cheque that was part of the wedding gift we gave her 5 years ago >tucked in a box.  this is the first time she has ever called me and I have >the impression that she would like me to replace the cheque.  Perhaps this >is not her intention but it would be in keeping with her character if it >was.  My personal feelings about the woman aside–what is the right thing >to do. >Thanks in advance, >Kathy B.

Kathy:       This is very awkward.  Didn’t you notice 5 years ago that the check was not cancelled?  Perhaps you don’t balance your check book.  At any rate, if the check was not too extravagant, I think I would replace it.  Or perhaps, offer to replace it with a give.  Maybe you know her/her tastes better now, and  would be able to pick out something she would like.  What does your husband say?     Cheryl

Response:

> this is n’t really a wedding topic perhaps but my less than favourite > sister-in-law called me last night and laughingly told me that she found > the cheque that was part of the wedding gift we gave her 5 years ago > tucked in a box.  this is the first time she has ever called me and I have > the impression that she would like me to replace the cheque.  Perhaps this > is not her intention but it would be in keeping with her character if it > was.  My personal feelings about the woman aside–what is the right thing > to do. > Thanks in advance, > Kathy B.

Kathy, IMO, replace the check. It was a gift, you intended them to cash it. Even if the relationship stinks, I think you may insult her by refusing to honor the gift, even if it is not your fault she overlooked the gift. My $.04 (inflation) — Ron Frank Mirror Image Photography x

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